Festive!

"But in Cataluña there's a surprising addition to the crib: el caganer, which means, for want of a more offensive translation, the defecating shepherd. What's more, this scatological streak extends to a peculiarly-shaped local cake, la tifa, with sugar flies to top it all off."

Nothing honors the coming of the King of Kings quite like dropping the duece.

Your mission.

Within eighteen hours of reading this, refer to someone as a "piss-complected sonovabitch".

Keep away from the nuts.

"Squirrels have bitten to death a stray dog which was barking at them in a Russian park, local media report."

Fierce.

OMG more Samorost!!!

There is a new Samorost flashartgamething. Can't explain. Just go play.

Would you like to play a game?

Here is a list of free online games swiped from Boing Boing.

Rally

WHAT: Rally for Deb Davis' stand for the Freedom to Travel

WHEN: Friday, the 9th of December at 8:30 AM

WHERE: The steps of the Alfred A. Arraj U.S. Courthouse,
901 19th Street in Denver.

More details.

Would you like an apple pie with that?

Tis the season.

Ding.

Mmmm, poor taste.

Sweet light show.

This has been linked in many places, but it is a sweet enough light display link again.

This is why I am leery of municipally provided wifi.

"This is how a government-filtered internet looks."

"...here is a screengrab of the Swissinfo.org site as seen from the Tunisian perspective. It is a fake 404 page, implying that the site doesn't exist."

Man don't kid yourself nobody thinks that a clown packs

Normally, I don't like webcomics. All that business with anthropomorphic animals is pretty much yawn city for me. It's like the newsprint comics pages, except with geek humor and and anime drawing style. I may as well be reading "One Big Happy", except with SysAdmin foxes or something.

The one (1) that does keep me coming back is Achewood. Here is a little article about it, which contains the great quote "Achewood fans are as committed as junkies, but many seemingly intelligent people are confused or even upset by the offbeat hilarity. Where do you fit in this taxonomy? Maybe a quick trip to the classic "Oh No I Grew Pubics" will clarify the matter."

Here are a few of my favorites:
Cilantro Ape Ceviche
Black Reeboks
Harlequin Costume

Half the fun of Achewood is the blogs that the characters keep, those are worth reading too.

Land of the free?

It's turning into a damn police state, I tell ya.

On the 9th of December 2005, Deborah Davis will be arraigned in U.S. District Court in a case that will determine whether Deb and the rest of us live in a free society, or in a country where we must show "papers" whenever a cop demands them.

Her story.

On her first day commuting to work by bus, the bus stopped at the gates of the Denver Federal Center. A security guard got on and demanded that all of the passengers on this public bus produce ID. She was surprised by the demand of the man in uniform, but she complied: it would have meant a walk of several miles if she hadn't. Her ID was not taken and compared to any "no-ride" list. The guard barely glanced at it.

When she got home, what had happened on the bus began to bother her. 'This is not a police state or communist Russia', she thought. From her 8th grade Civics class she knew there is no law requiring her, as an American citizen, to carry ID or any papers, much less show them to anyone on a public bus.

She decided she would no longer show her ID on the bus.

Is this acceptable to you?

Thx: Hit and Run

1.21 GigaWatts!?!?!?

The thrilling conclusion to my laptop battery recalibration! Can you stand it?

10:26a Turned on with full juice, er, 84%, after everything loaded. Also, as soon as I turned it on, the battery indicator LED lit orange. It should be green, I think.
10:32a 55% Hooked up external USB hard drive (my mp3 player) and began playing music, using the laptop to power the player via USB.
10:35a 45%
10:39a 26%
10:41a 18% Low battery alarm.
10:47a 5%
11:04a 5%
11:20a 5% I begin to suspect that the problem may not be the battery as much as the XP Power Meter software and it's ludicrous predictions of remaining capacity.
11:48a 2%
11:54a 1%
12:26p 0%
12:29p Dead

That's two hours of battery life -- 1:45 after the Low Battery warning messages appear! Though, it occurs to me that playing mp3s doesn't seem to require much processor utilization. At least powering the external USB hard drive takes some juice, right? FWIW, the mp3 player battery was dead when I hooked it up.

I imagine that running the wifi card will use up that juice quicker. But for now, I am definitely going to leave the "Auto-Hibernate at Critical Battery Warning" turned off.

I'll be sure to let you know how my battery life fares under actual use, in excruciating detail (isn't that what a blog is for?).

Daaaaaai... sy, daaaiiisssssy, telllll me y............

So, I'm trying to recalibrate the battery on my laptop, because it won't hold a charge at all. It will start flashing critical as soon as I unplug it.

I turned off all the power management functions in XP, and let it sit there.

Here is a handy progress chart of the times that I happen to glance at it whilst beavering away on my work desktop:
100% 2:14p
64% 2:23p
29% 2:32p
11% 2:37p
4% 2:51p
4% 3:27p

I think it lies.

I put in a music CD, hopefully spinning the drive will suck up some juice.

2% 3:40p
0% 4:00p (though Total battery power remaining reads as 1%)
0% and 0% 4:22p
Dead 4:28p

Finally it shut itself off, and won't turn on at all. I will recharge it overnight, and see what kind of battery life I get tomorrow.

Thx: Lifehacker

Assuming you get there early enough...

The $378 HP notebook computers that Wal-Mart will be selling on Black Friday are already showing up on eBay. That's enterprising.

Here is the original story from Engadget, note that the price has been reduced from the earliest news. On the Wal-Mart site, see the green "Huge in-store savings! Friday Nov. 25" for the actual ad.

The bidding hasn't topped $355 yet. Are the bidders hedging, waiting to see if they can score one of their own? Will the bids top $378 before Friday morning?

Thx: jaXed

It's those hairshirt, mudhut types again.

It's coming up; the day after Thanksgiving.

The xmas shopping season's Black Friday?

No, Buy Nothing Day. Where we get reminded by Adbusters how unhappy and unsustainable we are.

I like this take better:

Buy Nothing Day celebrates the decision not to consume. But most of the world lacks the ability to make such a choice. Rather than promoting guilt for being wealthy and healthy, we ought to empower the less-fortunate members of our world to become as wealthy as we are. The poor of the world must speak out against such elitist paternalism--they have nothing to lose but their poverty.

Thx: Scott Hughes comment on this Lifehacker post.

You will be astonished by what I will tell you

Statist fairytales.

"Not long ago the European Union was given regulations such as these," Father Houpette says. "With this new constitution everything will go like clockwork, just like in your club."

[involuntary shudder]

Thx: Hit and Run

Fixing the car with superglue and a dremel.

Golf, Opened
You can go see the whole photo set that I put up on Flickr.
So, the AC and fan stopped working on my VW Golf a couple of weeks ago. In July I had the AC compressor replaced. This was not cheap. So I was pretty ticked off. I tried to get the shop to fix the new problem, as the repairs were still under warranty. They figured out that the problem was in the dash. Since it turns out that during the original repairs, they had not touched the AC/fan control mechansim in the dash, I was SOL on the free-repair front. They said that it would be "at least $150" to even look at it, due to the location of the unit, and the hassle involved in actually getting there. Bah, I said. I can do this myself.

It turns out I was right. An afternoon, a dremel, and some superglue was all I needed.

Of course, they were right too. It was an incredible hassle to get to the part. I had to remove the driver's trim end cap, the left driver's kneeplate trim, the right driver's kneeplate trim, the passenger's trim end cap, the glovebox, the center console, the antenna cable, the three cables that control the air destination (defrost, main vents, feet), the frame that holds the cupholder, stereo, and AC/fan controls, the AC/fan control knobs, the AC button, the recirc button, and the AC/fan control circuit board. Just to get to the plastic box that holds the fan speed knob and the contacts that complete a separate circuit for each fan speed.

I don't know exactly what happened in there (stray Chai Latte foam? crappy VW electricals?) but something shorted and got hot enough to melt a) the fan speed knob, and b) speed controls frame.

The result of a) was a hardened blob that hung off the knob that prevented it from turning away from the top speed. Not that the fan was blowing, because the little piece of metal that completes the various fan speed circuits had come of the knob in the melting.

The result of b) was a control frame warped right where the circuit board was supposed to snap in. Thus the circuit board was askew in one corner, just enough for the AC button to fail to make contact.

So I took my dremel* to the blob, and smoothed out the knob so that it would turn freely. Then I applied superglue to the little metal contact and stuck it back on the knob. I need the superglue there because one of the little plastic tabs that had held the contact had been melted into oblivion. I expect that it's remnants are currently coating my lungs.

Then I snapped the circuit board back into the unit. I forced the board and the warped corner of the frame into compliance, and dabbed it with superglue (I *love* that stuff!) until it held.

Did I mention the goo? There was brownish goo on the fan speed contacts. This was not that conductive grease lubricant crap they put on the switches. This was some sort of goo that should not have been there. I don't know if the goo caused the problem (the latte-foam theory -- the cupholders loom precariously above the stereo and AC/fan controls) or if the goo was a symptom (faulty wiring of some sort). Either way, I got rid of it with an old toothbrush, some baking soda, and some vinegar. I couldn't remember what I was supposed to add to the baking soda to use it to clean electrical contacts, so I added vinegar, because it bubbled nicely. It seemed to work, and I was able to eradicate all the goo I could see.

Then I put everything back together, and even found holes for all the screws I removed!

Somehow, I either damaged, or mis-installed the little bulb that sits in the hub of the fan speed knob, and whose light is directed via a framework of clear plastic to all the little lighted labels on the AC/fan control unit. So, when it's dark out, I just have to go by feel when I want to adjust the temperature. But I can adjust the temperature.

Also, I found the clip-on sunglasses that I lost two years ago at Lake Granby. They had slipped between the top of the ashtray and the console trim, and nested under the center of the dash in a pile of gas station receipts, expired coupons, and a forgotten Albertsons customer loyalty card.


* Please note that I use the word "dremel" here in the manner that one would use the word "kleenex" or "tivo". I don't know what to call the little tool that spins to grind and cut. The one that I have was made by the fine people of Black & Decker, not Dremel, and I have no complaints with it. "Rotary tool" sounds too cumbersome, but I am open to suggestions.

What would you be doing in the shower that requires grunting?

So, after my workout this morning, I was in the shower at the gym. I know that there are plenty of unspoken rules about the locker room shower at the gym; mostly about politely ignoring the presence of other naked males, and such. But this bears mentioning:

There was this dude in the corner of the shower, totally going R.O.C.O. with the soap. Under normal circumstances, I would have no idea that this was going on. But this guy was making all these grunting noises while he, uh, lathered up. I'm not saying he was, er, you know. Just that the cleansing process seemed to be very vigorous. And audible.

Now, I am the type of gentleman who takes seriously the hygiene of my Zone. Cleanliness is it's own reward; also, I do it for The Ladies. But there is no part of my regular cleansing that results in grunting, in or out of the shower.

Not for this guy, it would seem. The exertion wasn't confined to his Area either. A bit later, he was making similar noises and flexing and stretching, as if he were in a body building contest. Then he started to gargle.

Not just filling his mouth with a little water, swishing it around a bit, gargling a bit, and then spitting it out. This was more like he was daring the showerhead to try and drown him. Like he's Hercules or something, spitting the water back faster than it falls, with the sheer force of his diaphragm.

"C'Mon Kohler, what you got, huh? You don't have the stones to choke me! [glug, glug] What's that? You're low-flow? I guess I'll need to [glug, glug] turn on a couple more heads to challenge me. How does that make you feel? [glug, grunt] Pansy."

Rectum? Damn near killed 'em! (posted from my phone)

woof

Dogs used as shark bait.

I am no pet-lover, but this is wrong, wrong, wrong. Don't click on that unless you want to cringe.


Thx: Warren Ellis

You wouldn't believe the mezcal we get out of it!

Check out* out the CD Cactus Cyanide (and I) made, after getting the idea from her brother, and the CDs** from Craigslist.


*Or you can just click the "ringloss' photos" link to the right.

**A big ole box of Dell Optiplex system recovery discs.

Mendelbaum! Mendelbaum! Mendelbaum!

When I weighed myself yesterday, and discovered that I had toed the notional, yet very satisfying thirty-pounds-lost line, I wanted to share my sense of accomplishment with the senior citizens in the locker room with me. But they seemed too intent on their white sneakers, nylon windbreakers, and discussions of impending mortality staved off by chair-based aerobics and brisk walks. So I let my self-satisfied smirk be the only indication that I had lumbered up to my arbitrary milestone.

So, I weigh 312 pounds now. That's 249* Chipotle Burritos. 249 sweet, sweet Chipotle Burritos.

Not that I've had one since I began this new regimen. It's for the best, really. We just needed to take some time off from each other. And then, when we have worked things out, we'll get back together. Just every once in a while, at first. To see how it goes. To see if we can make it work again. Together. This separation will just serve to make those reunions even sweeter.

* Where did I get this number? Well, the CSPI (Center for Science in the Public Interest, or as I read it "Center for Nanny-State Health-Fascists") says that "Chipotle's Vegetarian Burrito (with black beans, rice, cheese, guacamole, and salsa) weighs over a pound...", so I estimate that my bete noir (chicken, rice, black beans, cheese) is similar. I will call it 1.25 pounds. So that makes me 249.6 burritos (I lopped off the point-six for aesthetic purposes, call it the cup of iced tea used to wash down the burritos). Note: I have ommitted the calorie information from that quote, to protect the faint of heart.

For more on what puritanical, quackscience loons CSPI are see this article from the July 2003 issue of the excellent Reason magazine: "The Anti-Pleasure Principle -- The "food police" and the pseudoscience of self-denial" by Jacob Sullum.

"There is no party of tolerance in Washington -- just a party that wages its crusades in the name of Christ and a party that wages its crusades in the name of Four Out Of Five Experts Agree." -- Jesse Walker

Wow. This post got cranky fast. I must be rocking the low blood sugar...

Call ended 00:00:25

Complete transcript of a phone call today (slightly paraphrased):

Me: Hello!
Cyanide: Quick question, because it's been pissing me off all day.
Me: okay
Cyanide: What's "jamon serrano" in English?
Me: uhh
Cyanide: The thinly sliced stuff...
Me: Yeah, prosciutto...
Cyanide: That's it!
Me: ...though technically that's Italian.
Cyanide: I know, but that answers my question though, thanks!
Me: You're welcome.
Cyanide: Goodbye.
Me: Goodbye.

Update: It turns out that Cyanide actually called from the middle of the high school Spanish class she was teaching.

There's something in my eye

Ratcrow writes:

So, go to this link, and you'll see where [REDACTED]'s house is:

Lake Jackson, Texas

Zoom out a bit at a time until you see most of the Texas coast.

Then go to this link. The storm is presently Cat 5.

Hurricane Rita

I called [REDACTED's SPOUSE]'s mobile phone, and left a "Hi, just calling to send our best wishes, if you get a chance, give me a call to let us know if you are okay, assuming you are not too busy fleeing from the HELLACIOUS KILLSTORM" voicemail (not in those exact words). It's probably not something they need to be bothered with, but almost satisfying as far as impotent gestures go.


Update 04Oct2005: I did hear back from [REDACTED] (quite a while ago, actually). He says:

...there was no damage to the house or fence. We really lucked out. Two of the "hurrricane shutters" had come off of the house - one blew off and the other warped so badly that it forced itself off of the wall.

So, [REDACTED], Mrs. [REDACTED], and little baby [REDACTED] are all fine. You, reader, may not care, but I certainly do.

That's no moon...

On or around August 9, 2005 I weighed 342 pounds, which is just under my peak weight of ~345 pounds. I had been led to believe that an ice age was pending, and that I had better be prepared. What with recent advances in food storage technology, it now seems that bulking up will no longer confer a competitive advantage comparable to that of being leaner, more mobile, and able to rise from a seated position without getting winded.

Since then, I have been eating less, and exercising much, much more. Both cardio and weight training -- I assure you that, beneath the cascading rolls of fat, my guns have become truly astounding.

Today, I weigh 319 pounds (including the flip-flops I was wearing*).

I just thought I would share, to extend my circle of accountability.

So, expect regular updates.

* In the future, I will no longer reference the flip-flops that I wear when I weigh myself at the gym. Largely to help the reader avoid shocking mental images of me wearing nothing else, flexing and preening, and threatening to pump you, the reader, up.

P.S. It's not like I haven't tried this before, so hopefully my very public boastful tone will inspire me to keep walking that walk that I am talking so much talk of.

You're a really "up" person, you know?

You know, every so often "Bizarre Love Triangle" pops up on the random playlist of my mp3 player. And I just can't take it. I have to skip it. Though I am forcing myself to listen to it while I type this, I have lately found myself unable to cope with New Order. Maybe I overdosed on them. Probably around that time in '95 when I went through a phase where I had to listen to "Vanishing Point", like, at least three times every day.

It's too bad, really. I honestly like their music. Anyhoo, check out the movie 24 Hour Party People some time. It's a (sort of) documentary about the rise and fall of Factory Records. That's where Joy Division, and New Order, and the Happy Mondays came from.

Ooh, an emailed post.

Libelous Claims About Large Corporations

"K-Mart's stores are big because their employees need places to hide
while they are crying."

http://libelousclaimsaboutlargecorporations.blogspot.com/

Hi

Hello world