When I weighed myself yesterday, and discovered that I had toed the notional, yet very satisfying thirty-pounds-lost line, I wanted to share my sense of accomplishment with the senior citizens in the locker room with me. But they seemed too intent on their white sneakers, nylon windbreakers, and discussions of impending mortality staved off by chair-based aerobics and brisk walks. So I let my self-satisfied smirk be the only indication that I had lumbered up to my arbitrary milestone.
So, I weigh 312 pounds now. That's 249* Chipotle Burritos. 249 sweet, sweet Chipotle Burritos.
Not that I've had one since I began this new regimen. It's for the best, really. We just needed to take some time off from each other. And then, when we have worked things out, we'll get back together. Just every once in a while, at first. To see how it goes. To see if we can make it work again. Together. This separation will just serve to make those reunions even sweeter.
* Where did I get this number? Well, the CSPI (Center for Science in the Public Interest, or as I read it "Center for Nanny-State Health-Fascists") says that "Chipotle's Vegetarian Burrito (with black beans, rice, cheese, guacamole, and salsa) weighs over a pound...", so I estimate that my bete noir (chicken, rice, black beans, cheese) is similar. I will call it 1.25 pounds. So that makes me 249.6 burritos (I lopped off the point-six for aesthetic purposes, call it the cup of iced tea used to wash down the burritos). Note: I have ommitted the calorie information from that quote, to protect the faint of heart.
For more on what puritanical, quackscience loons CSPI are see this article from the July 2003 issue of the excellent Reason magazine: "The Anti-Pleasure Principle -- The "food police" and the pseudoscience of self-denial" by Jacob Sullum.
"There is no party of tolerance in Washington -- just a party that wages its crusades in the name of Christ and a party that wages its crusades in the name of Four Out Of Five Experts Agree." -- Jesse Walker
Wow. This post got cranky fast. I must be rocking the low blood sugar...
5 comments:
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I divorced Chipotle once I discovered Illegal Pete's. I can't have a burrito now unless it's a "Gambler."
FWIW, I've found that other burrito chains have a better selection (chicken mole and what not) than Chipotle, but Chipotle's burritos are better tasting -- to my palate.
Also, I have found that Chipotle wraps their burritos tighter than the other chains, which makes for a better eating experience.
I have not tried Illegal Pete's, but hope to some day.
Congrats on the first 30. Three more of those, and the fifth one's free.
There are not enough burrito places in Florida. There are Chipotles, but I have yet to have the occasion to hit one (they're out of the way). There's another place that does monster burritos, but they never seem to be open when I want them to be.
Perhaps it is for the best. Cuban food is an excellent alternative.
I don't have a point, so I'll stop now.
I don't have a point, so I'll stop now.
Apparently you misunderstand the whole idea behind having a blog....
[comment posted from an Extended StayAmeria in Dublin, CA.]
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