Monday, October 24, 2005

What would you be doing in the shower that requires grunting?

So, after my workout this morning, I was in the shower at the gym. I know that there are plenty of unspoken rules about the locker room shower at the gym; mostly about politely ignoring the presence of other naked males, and such. But this bears mentioning:

There was this dude in the corner of the shower, totally going R.O.C.O. with the soap. Under normal circumstances, I would have no idea that this was going on. But this guy was making all these grunting noises while he, uh, lathered up. I'm not saying he was, er, you know. Just that the cleansing process seemed to be very vigorous. And audible.

Now, I am the type of gentleman who takes seriously the hygiene of my Zone. Cleanliness is it's own reward; also, I do it for The Ladies. But there is no part of my regular cleansing that results in grunting, in or out of the shower.

Not for this guy, it would seem. The exertion wasn't confined to his Area either. A bit later, he was making similar noises and flexing and stretching, as if he were in a body building contest. Then he started to gargle.

Not just filling his mouth with a little water, swishing it around a bit, gargling a bit, and then spitting it out. This was more like he was daring the showerhead to try and drown him. Like he's Hercules or something, spitting the water back faster than it falls, with the sheer force of his diaphragm.

"C'Mon Kohler, what you got, huh? You don't have the stones to choke me! [glug, glug] What's that? You're low-flow? I guess I'll need to [glug, glug] turn on a couple more heads to challenge me. How does that make you feel? [glug, grunt] Pansy."

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