Babies in cages, just as our Founding Fathers intended*.
The Best Poop Report of 2005: The Day I Ruined Thanksgiving
If you pucker up your ass just right, and lean forward just a little bit, you can make any gas you may have inside you leak out quietly, like a ninja. It wouldn't go over well to have forty friends and family members hear a huge ass explosion from the mayor not five feet away.
* Little known fact from the History of our Great Country:
Had the Founding Fathers original intentions prevailed, housing infants in cages would have been Constitutionally mandated. Unfortunately, due to the Rules of Order in place at the time, that clause required unanimous approval. Thanks, Franklin.
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